Ways to Overcome Resistance to Change and Self Sabotage

The only one stopping you…just might be…YOU!

Here are some ways to Overcome Resistance to Change & Self – Sabotage

Do you ever find yourself starting projects only to leave them unfinished?

Why is it that we have difficulty finishing things we start? Is it boredom? Maybe we feel stuck and choose to quit instead working through to a solution? When we are working on creating change in important parts of our lives, it is not surprising if we are dealing with some resistance to the changes. So, what exactly is resistance?

Resistance is a feeling we get when things are about to change. While you are going through this process, we want you to be aware of some of the different feelings and thoughts you may experience and how to work through them. Resistance to change comes in many forms.

The first few sessions, like anything new we are excited, and we do everything the way we are supposed to. Then something from life hits, it throws us off balance and we might find ourselves saying “Maybe this is not for me”, or “I can’t do this now, I can’t think.” Or we use other delaying tactics like “As soon as I get through with ____.” Some familiar forms of resistance “I’ll do it later.” Or “this is not the right time.” Whenever you find yourself using reasons not to move forward, it is because you are demonstrating some form of resistance to change.

We have to be open to change, or we will always be finding a reason not to do something that would benefit us. We would always prefer other people to change – not us. If we keep doing the same thing over and over, we will always get what we’ve always gotten. If we want to have different things show up in our lives, we first have to be open to and willing to change. Sometimes we demonstrate resistance because we don’t know “how” to change. We may become impatient because unless we can figure out exactly what kind of change is coming, and how we will feel about it, we simply opt for doing nothing because it seems safer. Impatience is another form of resistance. It is resistance to learning and to changing. When we demand that it be done now, completed at once, then we don’t give ourselves time to learn the lesson involved with the problem we have created. This is why diets can be effective initially – because they are able to demonstrate results quickly. That satisfies us and eliminates temporary resistance. However, since we didn’t take the time to learn about ourselves, and to deal with the reasons why we eat when we are not hungry, soon the weight comes back on.

Resistance to change can come in the form of Fear – “I’m not ready yet, I might fail,” Or in Denial – “I can’t do anything about this problem,” or Delaying tactics – “The time isn’t right. Or, “As soon as I get through with ____.” Some of us have a streak of stubbornness within us. If we decide to do something differently, the stubbornness can surface and our resistance to changing our thinking is strong. We may temporarily become self-righteous, angry and withdrawn.

So what can we do to move through the resistance?….

Stand in front of your mirror and look into your eyes as you say 3-4 times:

“I am open to change”

Did you feel any tightness in your throat? Was it difficult or easy to say? If you felt like it just didn’t feel right in your gut, than ask yourself what the resistance is about. Then say in the mirror 3 – 4 times:

“I am open to release the need for the resistance”

Whenever you find yourself questioning if you should continue, or if this is right for you, just allow yourself to see it for what it really is, and simply tell yourself that you are willing to change, and willing to release all resistance. The Universe supports us in every thought we choose to think. If we think we can’t – we can’t. Act as if you believe this is the best thing for you at this time and your life. Give yourself the gift of patience and love – you will get positive results!

How do you deal with your emotions?

HOW TO HANDLE YOUR EMOTIONS

All of us experience a wide range of emotions in our lives. Usually, that’s a good thing. But sometimes we have difficulty controlling our emotions, even to the point of letting our emotions control our behavior. Usually, that’s not such a good thing. Here are some helpful suggestions for handling your emotions.

• Be honest with yourself.

• Talk to somebody about your feelings.

• Don’t ignore your emotions, they are telling you something.

• If you are having an unpleasant feeling, think of something you can do that will help, and then do it.

• Find positive ways to express anger that are not hurtful to others.

• Remember, whatever you are feeling, you’re not alone.

• Try not to get overwhelmed, things usually improve.

• If you do get overwhelmed—ask for help.

Sometimes it helps to get your feelings down on paper. Here are some ideas for writing that may help you deal with your emotions so you don’t turn to emotional overeating:

1. Write about a time when you felt like you had to hide your emotions. Have you ever tried to hide them even from yourself?

2. Describe one or two times when you had big emotional mood swings.

3. Describe a time when you felt like you were mad at the world. Were you really mad at the whole world, or just one or two things? Did you figure it out?

4. Who do you talk to when you are feeling down? What does this person do that helps? Do you ever do the same for others?

5. Have you ever felt like you are totally alone and no one else could possibly understand what you’re feeling?
Do you think other people sometimes feel that way too?

6. Watch a television program and write about one of the characters. What were the major emotions that motivated that character’s behavior? How did the character deal with those emotions? Did this character handle his/her emotions in a positive or negative (helpful or harmful) way? Can you think of a better way?

7. Imagine that some day you will have a child. Write a letter of advice for that child to read when he or she reaches the age you are right now. Tell the child about the moods and emotions you experienced at this age, and how you hope he/she will deal with his/her own moods and emotions at this age.